Homecoming / Wordless Wednesday

True story here:


Most nights are rough. I take forever to fall asleep, or I wake up constantly from a light sleep by the lightest of noises. It is not a healthy way to live nor would I recommend trying to function on a day to day basis on little to no sleep. Because it sucks. My right eye won't stop trying to twitch itself into a closed position, as if I could let the right half of my brain just sleep for a few minutes -or days.

On a recent day I woke up feeling more refreshed than I had in a long time, even though I know I still slept very few hours. I slide out from between my sleeping babes and head for the kitchen with only the thought of a liter of water and a hot cup of coffee.

I close my eyes and remind myself that I do still have a husband even if he is thousands of miles away. That he still misses and loves his family even if we haven't spoken to him in weeks. I remember that when he is home I sleep soundly knowing we are safe.

In a daze still half asleep I realize the boys have woken up and are screeching at each other. The baby pterodactyl kind of scream that for whatever reason my kids love to sound when they are having fun. It mostly is Pancake that does this kind of screeching but Scoop sure does love to chime in when the mood strikes him.

Placing my head in my hands I laugh and imagine David's hands on my shoulders rubbing away the knots.

"Help, the pterodactyls are multiplying."

My eyes fly open.

Oh man, thats not a day dream of my husband that is my husband. And the memories of his homecoming come flooding into my line of thoughts. Laughing at myself for actually forgetting that he had come home, I leaned into his embrace.

Right on cue the boys come into the kitchen bight eyed and smiling at the sight of their father home again.
Maxx smiled shyly and said, "Hi, Papa. Hi."

Theo immediately launches into what he feels we should do with the day now that Papa is home.

I turn around, wrap my arms around David's waist and look into his face and tell him too, "Hi, Papa."
He doesn't need to respond he just seals my lips with his and finally I feel whole again.




David's homecoming in pictures:

What I started out looking like...

Sadly, because of the  horrendous weather these didn't even leave the car.

Hurry up and wait some more.

Hurry up and wait with awesome friends.

Spotted Papa!

Maxx bundled in the wrap in the stroller to stay dry.

Ended up looked like a frozen drowned rat after waiting in the rain for an hour. 

baby popsicles 

But it was all worth this moment.

Bible Study

My prayers lately sound something like this:

Please Lord help us. The roar that those are creating about legalizing gay marriage and how torn our nation is right now scare me. Please help those that are lost to see your love, and your light. I know that there can be no light without darkness, but the darkness seems to encase those lost in its claws. Then they too become the darkness. Please help us Lord.


The more dark the darkness, the lighter the light.



This popped up in my newsfeed today:

If you are going to be brash enough to post this, you are asking to open the flood gates of criticism.

First I would like to point out that there is hardly ever a singular meaning of marriage in the bible.

Want some of the examples of what the Bible defines as marriage?

- An arranged marriage—Genesis 24:1-4 (and many other passages) 

- A levirate marriage (If a man died leaving no male heir, his brother was required to marry his widow and produce children)—Deuteronomy 25:5-10 

- A polygamous marriage—1 Kings 11:3 (and many, many other passages) 

- Not inter-racial—Deuteronomy 7:14; 1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14 

- Filled with sexual prohibitions—no intercourse during menstruation (The woman is unclean. Yet another degradation of women.) —The woman cannot withhold sex from her husband; she has to fulfill his desire for sex when he wants it. (And another example of the Bible’s misogyny) 

- Not allowed to be dissolved, i.e. NO DIVORCE—Matthew 5:31-32; Mark 10:2-12; Luke 16:18 

- Except when the man wanted to because his wife had become ‘displeasing’ to him—Deuteronomy 24:1-4 

- Between a rapist and his victim—Deuteronomy 22:28-29 

- An arranged marriage by a slave owner for his slaves—Genesis 24:4 

- Can be between brother and sister 

-Intended to solely to produce children—Without children a woman was: 

Shamed—a barren woman was looked upon as cursed by God 

Unable to be saved—1 Timothy 2:15

Seriously I could go on and on. And never ever does is say that marriage should be between a man and a woman only. EVER. 

Secondly, I would just like to kindly point out that the Bible itself was written around 500 hundred years after Christ's death. Upon writing it the "authors" took the gospels and picked carefully those that would be included and those that would be discarded. Those that were kept were edited and made to mirror the image that they deemed appropriate at that time.

As far as the laws of God? Who are we to decide what laws God has made for us. I know that you are probably reading this going Dan, the Ten Commandments? Don't fret, I haven't forgotten those and in the Ten Commandments I never saw once THOU SHALT NOT MARRY THE SAME SEX EVER. In fact I am pretty sure the whole set of commandments is based on respect. Respect of God, respect of your lover, respect of your peers.

I am not here to try to change your mind and tell you that your conservative views are inferior to my liberal ones but I would like for you to please think before you tell me that Jesus or God does not condone this movement. This is a movement of love, a movement for equality, this is a movement to break ties that create hate. The son of God I feel in my life, smiles at this movement. He is a man of love, mercy, patience and forgiveness. Or is it perhaps we do not know that same God and His son?

Torn

I miss my husband

I go home when David deploys for long time periods. I always have a ready excuse like the first time he went off I was VERY pregnant with Pancake and decided I really needed the help and it was too much to ask my mom and sister to come out to me. So I swallowed my pride and took my seasoned flyer Scoop, off with me to my hometown. There we waited for a baby to be born and then for Papa to head back to the States. This time I chose to come home because my niece was just born. I wanted to be a big part of her life, I wanted to be there to help me sister navigate her way through this tough labyrinth we call motherhood.

But really those reasons, good as they are, are not the reason I chose to come back to this tiny hometown. It is always and forever going to be that I miss my family while I am gone. The fact that I can grab my babies and walk ten minutes to my sisters house/wake up and have coffee with my mom/go to yoga with my Dad/hang out with David’s parents and anything else that involves having family so close by seems to beat the perks of having my own house and privacy in Virginia.

My sister, and I have always had this relationship that was more than just a sibling love. Alex is my best friend; she is the first person I call when I am frustrated or joyous. Add to that the connection we share with our mother means that being separated by many states is tough. It’s nearly as tough as it is to be separated from my husband during these deployments.

And now I face the decision of going home to Virginia to meet my husband at homecoming or staying here and patiently waiting for him to join us here. The time span between the two times of seeing him again are really only a few days, but the kicker is that if we decide to go home to Virginia to be at homecoming we miss about of month of being in the hometown with family. The reason being is that if I fly back with the babies we cross over not one, but two time zones and they need time to adjust to that, along with everything else. And remember how I said David would be joining us here in hometown soon after homecoming? Okay well that trip to the hometown is pretty much a sure thing, whether we fly out as a family together or meet him here.

Last time we did fly back and meet David. Homecoming was a little different though it was when he got to meet Pancake for the first time. Days after he got back we packed up and head to hometown for leave. This time there is not a son that he hasn’t met yet, just a family that is lonely without the Papa.

So Option A: Fly back to Virginia a month before David gets home, let babies adjust, meet Papa at homecoming, get a few days as a family, then turn around and head back to hometown for a couple weeks to turn around and come back to Virginia. It sounds… exhausting. But seeing David right as he comes home and then sharing those moments privately with only with our children sounds so worth it.

Option B: Wait in hometown with my beloved family for an extra month until Papa arrives on leave a few days after he gets into The States, share the first moments with everyone, spend leave in hometown with family, fly back to Virginia together. This sounds…anxious. But not having to put my children on an airplane and change scenery three times sounds much more beneficial for them.

Needless to say I am lost and I am lonely. I want so desperately to throw caution to the wind (and our money, damn airfare prices!) and hop on a plane. Meet David and have those moments with our family privately. Its not that I think our family doesn’t miss him the way I do, or shouldn’t be apart of this homecoming, but there is something about being there waiting that tugs at my heart.

I miss my husband.

What would you do?