Secret ingredients

I made brownies for the boys yesterday, and this morning I woke up to a nearly empty pan of brownies. 

AND I FELT NO GUILT.

Okay so maybe letting my kids munch on brownies all day was a bad choice but I wasn't feeling as guilty as I probably would have been had these particular brownies not included a nice helping of kale, spinach and carrots. 

Yup, you read that right. KALE, SPINACH AND CARROTS. 

I have since then figured out how to add any of the above ingredients to most chocolate sweets. Pancake's birthday cupcakes? Full cup of spinach! I add the liquid ingredients to the badass Vitamix I have with the cup of raw veggie I choose and boom veggie chocolate surprise. I know there are probably some flaws in that madness but I'm okay since it has worked so far.

Without further waiting…

I altered this recipe to what I used below:

·      1/2 c sugar


·      1/4 c butter melted


·      1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate, melted 


·      1 cup of pureed spinach, kale and carrots


·      2 tsp vanilla extract


·      1 egg, beaten


·      3/4 c flour


·      1/4 c unsweetened cocoa powder

·      1/2 tsp baking powder

·      1/2 tsp salt (if using unsalted butter)

Pre heat oven to 350! 

1.) Melt your butter and chocolate chips in a saucepan over low heat.

2.) Add melted butter and chocolate to Vitamix with veggies. (You can steam them to make them easier to blend, or add a tad of water to the mix).

3.) Pour liquid mix in bowl with sugar egg and vanilla then set aside (I chose to skip this and just add them all together in Vitamix).

4.) Combine the dry ingredients, and then pour into wet ingredients bowl. 

5.) Bake for 40-45 minutes.

My tip is letting these treats cool before serving them; I think I might even freeze them next time since they were delicious cold. When researching these it was told that the veggie taste is gone once cold but I didn't notice a huge difference in the taste mostly that they just taste better in their chilly state!

Let me know how yours turn out!

Sleepless Mama

Why are the mornings such a bitch?

This morning I woke up early, took Hubs to work. It sounds like a simple procedure when I phrase it like that I know. In reality though, it is a multi-step process that can go horribly wrong at any moment. That moment being when the babies wake up before I am ready for them to.

First, I have to manage to get out of bed without waking either child, it involves the nursing yoga (please see #10 here) on an extreme level since both children are extraordinarily clingy in the morning. If they wake up with me then I have to find a way to hold/comfort both while also getting everything I need to leave the house. Because Lord and Heaven both forbid that we make it half way to Papa's work and one or both of them realize they are hungry, then in turn become hangry. That is just a miserable path for everyone, an apple sliced, granola bar of some sort, or some version of food has to be brought with us.

If I do manage to make it out of my loving bed without a baby, then I have my usual program of dressing, brushing and searching for the lost one shoe I would like to wear. After that its hopefully looking at the clock to see if I have enough time to start a pot of coffee, or make a shake. Which I usually don't. Move on to starting the car, and loading the snacks, shoes and blankets; because they both stay asleep with a blanket draped over their laps for some weird reason that I just don't question. Finally, grab my lost shoe I found in the front yard and load up (hopefully) sleeping babies.

Make it to David's work before traffic hits horribly then once reentering said traffic on the return home it become like a trip to Mordor. When we are stuck in the tunnel and I'm trying not to imagine the walls caving in and water crushing us all, my kids like to keep me distracted by informing me they either need to poop, dropped their breakfast snack and need it five seconds ago, or just want to ask life changing questions like,"What would happen if the water were to get in the tunnel?" and "How do they keep the water out of the tunnel?" and "What happens when it rains?"

By the time we get home both babies are up and bouncing happy to be out of their carseats, and have had a full twelve hours of rest like any normal night. I on the other hand am dragging ass having stayed up until one writing here, or watching some mindless non-child show just for the sake of it.

I am sure that later this will be hilarious to look back on, but right now I am just really fucking tired.

How does everyone else deal with no sleep and bouncing children?

Frakenfoods makes frakenbabies

I’m grateful that my children do not have allergies that bring spring time dread, or make me worry that if they eat the wrong thing they will end up with a swollen shut throat. All the same witnessing my four-year-old rage like he just turned into the Hulk and then cower and whimper on the floor because he is having a reaction to some processed something he ate, feels pretty freaking horrible.

We don’t feed our kids dye, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, modified corn starch, BHA, BTA, synthetic hormones or potassium bromate, AT ALL. All of our dairy products that we eat are organic. Everything else is: if it has an ingredients list, then can I pronounce all of the ingredients? If I can’t chances are it’s a preservative/hormone and I don’t want to risk it. It’s a risk because if it is a processed refined yuck ingredient our children react like they were just given a Jeffery and bust out in eczema.

AND IF ONE MORE “WELL MEANING” PERSON GIVES MY KIDS ONE OF THESE INGEDIENTS I AM GOING TO FLIP MY SHIT ON THEM.

This weekend Theo, Maxx and I spent sometime with some relatives. These relatives have been one of the few people that think that by not allowing the boys to have things like Gatorade, Lunchables, canned meat (let me just go vomit real quick), or excessive amounts of sugar they are missing out in their childhood. It has been a struggle from when I started this (what they call restrictive but I call normal) diet with the boys. Regardless they are family that we still love and want in our lives.

Theo ended up spending the day with them while Maxx and I headed back home. When he got back home to us that evening Theo was noticeably more cranky and tired than normal. I soon found out why when he asked one of the relatives for his drink and they whipped out the sugary, dyed, pretend juice with a smile.

I wasn’t smiling.

I knew that the drink alone was enough to give Theo horrible nightmares and wet the bed. And that if they had gone against my wishes and already let him drink almost all of that pretend juice then I know that they had probably gone against all of my wishes and fed him some horrible fast food kid meal. Meaning that I would be dealing with a kid that would periodically be acting like he smoked a Jeffery for the next weekish.

Periodical tantrums, screaming, punching, throwing, crying, whimpering, and the inability to communicate. This is what I have to look forward too. It is enough to make me want to sell my children.

But what is horrible is I know that it makes my kids feel like they have been ran over. Mentally and physically. Those tantrums are not out of acting out or attention, they are from the confusing feeling they have when their brain cannot process the emotional and physical response that they want to happen. The feeling of being completely out of control, and unable to process why your body and mind are not on the same page is what my boys are feeling. Extreme frustration.

The worst part is the fact that other than feeding them real food with continuing to comfort and help work through out bursts I cannot do anything. And the people that fed them the crap that is wreaking havoc on their body are nowhere to be seen. This is why they simply cannot believe that it could be the food that THEY ate all their lives and then fed THEIR children too that could be making Theo and Maxx act out. Because they are never around to witness the reactions. Because in their minds “boys will be boys” and that’s all there is to it.

I know this will pass and because these toxic foods are rare in their lives they are strong. Soon my boy’s bodies will heal. But what more can I do to make others understand that it is not okay to give my kids those things?

Until I do, I will keep in mind that the choices that we have made for our children are the right ones for them. Would it be easier to allow the boys to eat whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. Yes, but sometimes in life easy and right are not the same thing.


Dan<3

Torn

I miss my husband

I go home when David deploys for long time periods. I always have a ready excuse like the first time he went off I was VERY pregnant with Pancake and decided I really needed the help and it was too much to ask my mom and sister to come out to me. So I swallowed my pride and took my seasoned flyer Scoop, off with me to my hometown. There we waited for a baby to be born and then for Papa to head back to the States. This time I chose to come home because my niece was just born. I wanted to be a big part of her life, I wanted to be there to help me sister navigate her way through this tough labyrinth we call motherhood.

But really those reasons, good as they are, are not the reason I chose to come back to this tiny hometown. It is always and forever going to be that I miss my family while I am gone. The fact that I can grab my babies and walk ten minutes to my sisters house/wake up and have coffee with my mom/go to yoga with my Dad/hang out with David’s parents and anything else that involves having family so close by seems to beat the perks of having my own house and privacy in Virginia.

My sister, and I have always had this relationship that was more than just a sibling love. Alex is my best friend; she is the first person I call when I am frustrated or joyous. Add to that the connection we share with our mother means that being separated by many states is tough. It’s nearly as tough as it is to be separated from my husband during these deployments.

And now I face the decision of going home to Virginia to meet my husband at homecoming or staying here and patiently waiting for him to join us here. The time span between the two times of seeing him again are really only a few days, but the kicker is that if we decide to go home to Virginia to be at homecoming we miss about of month of being in the hometown with family. The reason being is that if I fly back with the babies we cross over not one, but two time zones and they need time to adjust to that, along with everything else. And remember how I said David would be joining us here in hometown soon after homecoming? Okay well that trip to the hometown is pretty much a sure thing, whether we fly out as a family together or meet him here.

Last time we did fly back and meet David. Homecoming was a little different though it was when he got to meet Pancake for the first time. Days after he got back we packed up and head to hometown for leave. This time there is not a son that he hasn’t met yet, just a family that is lonely without the Papa.

So Option A: Fly back to Virginia a month before David gets home, let babies adjust, meet Papa at homecoming, get a few days as a family, then turn around and head back to hometown for a couple weeks to turn around and come back to Virginia. It sounds… exhausting. But seeing David right as he comes home and then sharing those moments privately with only with our children sounds so worth it.

Option B: Wait in hometown with my beloved family for an extra month until Papa arrives on leave a few days after he gets into The States, share the first moments with everyone, spend leave in hometown with family, fly back to Virginia together. This sounds…anxious. But not having to put my children on an airplane and change scenery three times sounds much more beneficial for them.

Needless to say I am lost and I am lonely. I want so desperately to throw caution to the wind (and our money, damn airfare prices!) and hop on a plane. Meet David and have those moments with our family privately. Its not that I think our family doesn’t miss him the way I do, or shouldn’t be apart of this homecoming, but there is something about being there waiting that tugs at my heart.

I miss my husband.

What would you do?

Deployment

The wave of emotions that swarm with that word is sometimes overwhelming. Anxiety to sadness. All of those feelings wash over our home every time Hubby pulls out the bags and gear. The worst part? I always am ready for him to leave by the time departure day gets here. The relief of finally having him officially on deployment, instead of just waiting on pins and needles for him to leave, is extreme. The days and weeks before hand are worse than actually being without each other. The house hums with the anxiety of waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

This is not an uncommon cycle in our home. We are on our third deployment. (David says second, I say third because being gone for a month, thousands of miles away, in a war zone, without communication is deployment in my mind).

So then can someone please tell me why these first weeks are still so horrible? From driving away to this moment my chest has a big gaping hole. It whistles a very lonely tune in the wind, and aches when I crawl in bed next to my babies. My own brand of lonely isn't the worst part though, its my babies.

Yesterday, Theo's friend told him that he should address his valentine he was making to his Daddy. Want to know his response? "No, I don't have a Daddy anymore." Um, excuse me child, WHAT?! I'm not sure if his was response was suppose to be no I don't have a Daddy, because David isn't Daddy and never has been. He has always been Papa. Or if it was his way of explaining the logistics of a deployment. Of course that statement still prompted a conversation we have had before several times:

Me: "Theo, Papa always comes home no matter how long he is gone."
Theo: "Why is Pop gone"?
Me: "Because its his job to go away and protect us and everyone else."
Theo: "Why"?
Me: "Because he loves us Boo-Boo. He will always love us even if he is gone."
Theo: "I know. I miss him. Can I have Jell-O? Can we send Jell-O to Pop"?

The upsides? I can talk to my kids about feelings. We discuss why we miss Papa, we talk about how he misses us too, we writes lists of emotions that we feel and ask Pop when he calls if he feels that way too. And most of all after the first few weeks we fall back into a routine and are great.

I have my sights set on the future. The sooner these adjustment weeks pass the sooner we can be back to our routine. Then before we know it Papa will be home. There will be many trials and tribulations in between, I know. But this just happens to be the life we live.

This too shall pass.

How do you deal with deployments/long times away from a loved one? Do you have any special routines you go through with your kids?

First Homecoming 

Dan<3

Breast Be Best

Breastfeeding, nursing, milkies, nahnahs, and boppy are a few of the terms I have heard for nursing a baby. Want to guess which one we use? Whats that you say? Milkies? Yes, correct! We even sign "milk" to go with it.

Breastfeeding is something I really enjoy, the benefits for my babies and myself are only a happy side note to the bond that I feel with my little ones. Not to mention I get to sit down and stare into the face of my gorgeous baby several times a day!

I did a some research on this (because as awesome as it would be to know every thing about nursing sadly I do not) and went to my trusty site Breastfeeding Mamas on Facebook.CLICK HERE

Go check them out! They are a wonderful group to be a part of if you are pregnant, nursing or planning on doing either of those things in the near future. They are a group of educated (formally and informally) ladies that are always willing to help a mama out.



So between friends, cyber buddies, and experience I came up with the following breastfeeding scenarios:

1.) The booby drunk baby.
If you have nursed a little one you are sure to be familiar with the milk drunk baby. The phases of milk drunkness:
Buzzed when your little one is all smiles and joy while they coo and nurse.
Tipsy, when hand motions and speech becomes garbled and uncoordinated.
Drunk, baby's eyes are glassy when open and stare off into unknown distances. If they do speak at this point it is unrecognizable and is usually accompanied with drool.
Blacked-out, your baby has reached the point of no return when no noise or touch will rouse them, physical demanor is usually open-mouthed and occasional snorts.

There actually is a biological explanation for the milk induced stupor. When a baby begins to nurse their brain releases hormones that induce sleep. So by the time that little one has a full belly and the sleep hormones are swarming full force they stand no chance at keeping those little eyelids open. Gotta love nature.



2.) The twiddler
For some reason both my babies were under the impression that one boob would not work unless the other nipple was being "twiddled". Not familiar with the "twiddling" term? It is the act of tiny child fingers grasping your nipple while twisting, holding, or tugging on it. Not the coolest feeling in the world. Personally this drives me bonkers and I go to all lengths to protect my poor nipple. Not from the funny feeling or the tugging but from the tiny baby nails that can slice through skin like a cheese wire on a block of cheese. Ouch. Yeah, I know.


3.) The niplash
While nursing, a little one will hear/see/imagine a distraction and suddenly and energetically jerk their head around to look up down and all around the room (still firmly latched onto your boob).


4.) The showering in milk ( willingly and unwillingly)
The act of suddenly breaking latch during let down, wether it be purposefully or not, and then receiving a full face spray of milk. On good days both mother and baby will receive a face full. Need a good laugh? Spray you significant other too while they aren't looking. Then act like you have no idea why they are suddenly wet and sticky.


5.) The emergency boobie
Babies don't discriminate they don't mind when or where you're at when they are hungry they will go on the hunt for that milk. Frantically attempting to suckle anything that touches their face, squirming until they can push their face into your breasts, or sticking their hands down your shirt and rummage around like it's a Mary Poppins bag.


6.) The magic let down
No matter how far you are from your little one when they feel that tummy rumble your milk will come rushing in. I would take a guess that after spending many months sharing a body, we share an innate bond with our babies. One of the better reasons to wear your baby everywhere you go, no huge wet spots on your shirt if baby is already nursing. And if they are cover them up with the baby.


7.) The bouncy house boobies
A story that I have heard more than once: A baby nursing with mom in a reclined position. The babe's head with little neck control and in a boob drunk stupor, rolls and flops onto the other exposed breast. The breast being a wonderfully jiggly thing bounces the babes head back to the other breast. Then back to the other, and back again. The bouncing only amplified by the mama's delirious sleep deprived laughter. Best part, the baby slept through it all.


8.) The noisey boobie
When that milk is so wonderful that your little one has to tell you all about it. While they nurse of course. The garbled version of lovey coos with just the occasional spittle of milk flying.


9.) The elastic boobie
Every now and then (mostly while Pancake is teething) I'll have to break a middle of the night nursing session to get out of bed and go pee/tend to Big Brother/eat coffee ice cream. This is usually how it goes. The babe is in a deep sleep except for the occasional suckle. I begin nursing yoga (see below) and get all the way to a modified position four only to realize Pancake has used his super suction powers and still has my breast in his mouth! Its a frightening sight to see your boob stretch that much and not realize it was happening.


10.) The nursing yoga mama
Yoga to get out of bed after nursing little one to sleep.
Position one: while on side slide legs back in a reaching position towards the edge of the bed, as close to the edge of the bed as you can get.
Position two: move body over to backside with arms in air so not to wake sleeping children.
Position three: hover with arms and legs in air contracting abdominals in to an excruciating pain while child rustles and grunts in sleep.
Position four: with one leg on the floor and one on the bed bend at the waist and touch the floor, while elevating and swinging foot to the floor.
Position six: come to center with hands in prayer and bow. Namaste.


11.) The gymnurstics
Right around the time your little one begins to move independently you can count on gymnurstics commencing. They will only get better with time at hanging upside down/ putting their feet on your face/ grabbing your nose/ clinging to your moving body while they nurse. And so time will only make you better at easily catching and calming flailing toddler limbs into nursing submission.


12.) The booby trapped boobie
Sweat running down your face, your heart is racing to beat out of your chest and pain is exploding in your chest. Thats right you have been booby trapped by the mouth of a teething babe. No need to bite back to show your bigger and badder, just jump and show your in pain and the beast will release you.


13.) The bleeding boobie
In the early stages of nursing with a baby that only knows how to suckle, and a mama that isn't concrete on what a proper latch should look like, sometimes our nipples pay the consequences. Bleeding and cracked nipples are really no laughing matter. The first step in healing is helping your babe to get a proper latch (not get only the nipple in their mouth but as much breast that will fit in there). Then quickly go buy pure coconut oil, and caledula ointment to keep on your abused nipples until they heal.


14.) The enormously engorged boobie
This is for my oversupply mamas. When you sit down to nurse a little one that immediately falls into a boob stupor but is still nursing and you let down at least four or five times in the one sitting. Your other breast begins to look like it is sucking the life out of the opposite side. And when you do finally lay down the little one, instead of doing something that you might have had planned while the babe slept you frantically search for your pump to deflate your breast.


15.) The banned boobie
"You can't do that here."
"Would you please cover up while you do that?"
"There is a lovely bench in the restroom that will accommodate you."
Why are there so many people frightened of seeing a breast be used for its actual purpose? You would think with Victoria Secret boobs being shoved in our televisions, mailboxes, billboards and shopping malls across the nation we would be perfectly comfortable seeing breastfeeding in public. But we still hear those stories of mother and child being forced to leave stores and restaurants for nursing. Our nation has sexualized everything about everything. We seem to have no issue with every ad having a practically naked being, but panic when we think about having to talk about anything to do with breasts. Breastfeeding is the normal and natural way to feed your baby. Have a little nursling? Help normalize breastfeeding in public by feeding your baby where ever you are public or not.


16.) The loved boobie
From the first latch to the last your little one is going to look up at you and marvel at your beauty, love and compassion. That look alone is worth years of bleeding nipples, nighttime yoga adventures and every foot to the face. The love that rushes through your every fiber when your look into the face that you grew within you, and are now helping to continue to flourish, will always beat any nay sayer's negativity.


I know that this list is just the tiniest of lists of all the breastfeeding adventures so PLEASE leave your comments/pictures below on your favorite/funniest/scariest moments while you nursed your little one!

Guilty, guilty, guilty.

First I would like to apologize for the time gap between posts. My boys have decided that because I now have things that I need to be doing in a timely fashion napping and quiet time are a thing of the past. But I am still keeping my fingers crossed that this is a phase. (Please oh please oh please let it just be a phase!) Recently there were some big decisions made for myself and for our family. First one is that I decided that the semester I took off to have Pancake is not turning into two semesters and I enrolled in classes at our local community college. I am only doing part-time but I have run out of classes to take online for my degree and have to take all of my labs now before I can graduate. With this I have to leave the boys for 6 whole hours a week. Which brings me to my guilt, the mama guilt.

I know that every mother that is reading this understands immediately what I am talking about. So for those of you that are a little less familiar with the gut wrenching guilt, I will explain further. This guilt is a horrible feeling that moms encounter when they cannot be everywhere at once. Now of course there is no such thing as a super mama that can be at work, at home with a baby and at school with their toddler all at once so many mamas get the case of the mama guilt. The flip side of the mama guilt is that you want and need to have an adult moment or two. You crave a moment where you get to speak a non-toddler modified version of English where you don’t refer to yourself and everyone else in third person. You long to miss your babies so that you can cherish the moments you share more.

Theo is now almost 4 years old and is ready to be able to play and be social with other kids his age and be away from Mama for a few hours. He has always been a child that enjoys playing with other kids and makes friends quickly. Theo is the child at the park that is telling the other children’s mother that they are not allowed to leave yet, because they are having fun. Theo I am not feeling guilty about leaving, Theo is ready and begging to play with his friends.

Max I am feeling guilty about leaving. He is hardly six months old, and firmly attached to Mama as he should be. And let me tell you Mama is just as firmly attached to him. Max who has never had a bottle and isn’t really ready for solids. Max the baby that when waking up in a new environment panics and looks immediately for me. He is just a baby, and needs a mama. I shudder at the thought of leaving him on my first day of class.

The worst of my guilt is that I am very ready to have a moment to do something for myself. It has been a full 18 months with far and few reprieves in between since I have been able to leave my babies and have that moment. I feel guilty that some times I wake up and am not ready to face a day filled with messes, toy truck noises, and not one adult to talk to for 10-12 hours. I feel guilty that I look forward to leaving my boys and going to a class where I will be challenged intellectually instead of challenging my patience. The overwhelming guilt really begins when my conscience starts whispering that I shouldn’t feel like I need to be away from them, that I am ungrateful for the blessed life we live where I can stay home if I want to. (I swear sometime I wish I could punch my conscience in the face).

But I know that I am always a better mother to my boys when I am happy and patient. And in order to be that happy and patient mother I need to take a few hours and take care of me. So David and I found a wonderful in home daycare/pre-school, where they parent like we do and have a loving and warm environment. They change cloth diapers; baby wear, and feed whole foods for snacks. How lucky are we that it happens to be right beside the campus that I will be at?

So in a few days time I will take my boys to someone else to watch. I will take way too long to leave, give them too many hugs and kisses, and probably cry when I get back in the car, but I will not let this guilt eat me alive. Although sometime I do try to pretend like I can do it all, I am only human and I need a break. And all my other mama friends reading this now, I want to tell you that you to deserve a break too. Because we will never be all of the mother that we can’t be if we don’t take those few moments to take care of ourselves.

Dan<3

Let's get crunchy!

Recently friends and family had asked me why and how I came to choose the parenting style I use. Most of our friends and family were doubtful of our choices when Theo was born. They had expected us to rear a demon, so just questioning how I use it is a HUGE step in the right direction. In a previous blog I mentioned that I tend to dance in the green pastures of “crunchy granola mama land”. By this I mean that I practice Attachment Parenting also know as Peaceful/Gentle/Hippie/Granola/Crunchy/Natural Parenting. In this blog I’m going to roll through the major ins and outs of what this is to us, how we use it, and a few more details.

I will not go so far as to say I am an expert on this parenting style but what I do with my children work in our home and are loosely based on Attachment Parenting. Not all of this is what all AP families do. AP parenting is about meeting your baby's needs.

First off in Attachment Parenting (AP) many families begin their parenting choices when they are pregnant. By this I mean that they choose to see a midwife instead of an OB-GYN, they chose to omit ultrasounds and invasive procedures, and choose to birth their baby naturally without any drugs. These families go with trusting the mother’s body to do what it was made to do, grow healthy babies. 

I am so happy to say that both of our boys were born naturally with the help of a midwife. What was best about a midwife was that they knew me and what I wanted in each pregnancy and birth. They saw me each time at the appointment and cooed with me at the lubdub noises of the baby's heart. Both my midwives cared about me and my baby.

Theo was born at home into David’s waiting hands in a warm tub of water. Max was born in the hospital (due to a rare blood condition making our pregnancy a high risk one) to my waiting hands that scooped him up to my chest. Both boys didn’t leave my arms until they had been calmed and told they were loved a million times. (Skin to skin contact immediately after birth, it is a precious gift that only you can give your baby.) Once they did leave it was only for the shortest of time to find out their measurements, and then were quickly returned to me and rarely left again in the following weeks. These weeks that passed too quickly were the most tender moments I have ever shared with them and I will never forget their lovely newborn noises.

Another HUGE practice in AP is breast is best. Breast is best. Breast is best. Breast is best. Did I mention that breast is best? In my family’s case I take this to an "extreme". We use baby led weaning and yes that means that I nurse into toddlerhood (gasp!). I don’t particularly like pumping, bottles, dummies, or frankly anyone else feeding my baby. So with this comes nursing in public. I couldn't give a hoot if someone doesn't want to see my baby eat; I’m going to feed him. Max likes to wear his cover as a turban rather than a cover, so I really do try to sit in a discreet area because I don’t want to show my boobs to anyone but if it happens then whoever got a peep usually gets an apologetic smile and I go back to nursing.

Max and I nursing in public. Notice the turban like cover. 

I love that my baby solely depends on my body to nourish his body. I really love sitting down and nursing a cooing little one that looks at you like you are the sun, moon, stars and earth all wrapped into one. With that being said I wouldn't say that it is a simple task, or that there is no sacrifice in it. Most days when I sit down to nurse, Max is so squiggly wiggly that we end up both being sprayed in the face with milk, at least twice. Sometimes if Theo is close enough he’ll get a face full too. Yeah, a distracted active baby (in other words a healthy happy baby) isn’t the easiest to nurse.

But some women cannot even get the chance to nurse their children because of lack of support. It is my belief that many women are faced with the worst difficulties of nursing (low supply, thrush, mastitis, engorgement, and more) and are unable to fight through because of the ill informed society we live in. Simple information and support from loved ones and people trusted can work miracles. Having faced each of the listed problems above I understand the extreme struggle it can be to just feed your baby. My advise to any nursing mother would be to trust your intuition, not your grandmothers saying that your milk is too thin/that baby needs a bottle/you’ll spoil him if you let fall asleep nursing. Do some research, find a lactation consultant, talk to other nursing mothers, and mostly follow your babies cues.

After nursing babies is co-sleeping and bed sharing. This is the act of having a family bed where parents and babies all sleep together. Some cases the family all share one bed, in others cribs or bassinets are attached to the bed and sleep directly next to the parents bed, and in others children sleep in separate beds in the same room. Yes, we bed share in our home. No, I am not going to roll onto my baby in my sleep. Breast feeding mothers have heightened sense of awareness of their babies, especially in newborn days and infancy. (Wooooohoooo mom magic is real!) 

Originally when I first brought Max into our bed it was just Theo and I because David was on deployment. I slept in-between the boys so Theo wouldn’t round house kick Max in his sleep. All was well. Then David came home, and we were a tad smushed in our queen-sized bed. Theo woke up after less than a week of this sleeping arrangement and told me I wanna sleep in my bed Mama, its too smushy in here. And just like that it became just Max in our bed. And every now and then Theo crawls in too and we all snuggle up. I love bed sharing its the best. I don’t have to wake up, and get out of bed, every time Max wakes up needing to nurse.  I simply roll over plug the boob in and fall back to sleep. Awesome. I know.

Another common AP practice is baby wearing. Its one of the new aspects of parenting to me, so please forgive me for not being able to give you every detail. Baby wearing is when instead of using a travel system like a stroller or the cart in a store you carry your child on your body. Some families like to wrap their babies in Moby Wraps or Sleepy Wraps (best for newborns only IMO), some like to buckle them in soft structured carriers like Ergo or Boba, while others sling them with woven wraps or Mei Ties. Some do a little of it all! There are many different baby carriers out there and each different family has different preferences.

I have found that the best part of babywearing is the ability to still do activities and have a happy baby. Baby won't let you set them down for nap? Strap them on to your back/front! How awesome is that? In fact, I write this post as Max snoozes in my ERGO Performance Carrier.

I know it looks like Max is broken here but as soon as I wrap him up he usually passes out. Hence the limp neck form!

BEWARE! Since baby wearing has become more and more popular, more and more retailers are selling less than adequate carriers . "Crotch Danglers". A proper carrier should hold your baby snuggly to your chest, back or hip and shouldn't  face your baby outwards. Your baby should not look like they are rocking the newest bikini when they are in the carrier, they should have their weight rested on their bottom with their legs slightly bent in a hugging position.

http://store.ergobaby.com/
http://www.didymos.de/en/?gclid=CN_k48bxs7UCFYqk4Aodf3QALg
http://www.mobywrap.com/
http://www.bobafamily.com/

The last large practice in our home that I find many other AP parents doing as well is natural medicine. Instead of seeing a doctor every time a cold rears its ugly head (which isn't often), I usually pull out the mega doses of Vitamin C, Echinacea, and water. When Theo became a walking bruise, with each lump, bump and scrape I wrapped his owie in arnica or calendula ointment and ice. We do not vaccinate until our children have a completely developed immune system and even then we will omit many vaccinations. We very sparingly use any other the counter medicines, and Theo has only been on antibiotics twice in his life.

I was raised in a home that practiced homeopathic medicine, and I have spent all of my life living it in granola land. It is a lifestyle that takes practice, patience, knowledge and the right resources, but all that you put in comes back hundred times in good health. And let's face it, what is better than good health?


The stuff above is just the tip of the iceberg! Other common AP practices that we use:

• Anti-Infant Cosmetic Modification. Sounds like a no brainer right? Leaving your baby to chose for themselves if they will modify their body. It means leaving babies bodies alone. No circumcision, no ear-piercing, no modifications. My take on it here.
• Elimination communication. No diapers, not potty training but just reading your baby's body signals to go potty!
• Cloth Diapers that disposable diaper you just tossed will be around to meet your great grandchildren. Gross, look into cloth diapering.
• Child led weaning/ baby led solids: skip the cereal, the airplane spoon, and nurse into  toddlerhood. No its not unnatural. In fact our society is the only one that thinks it is.
• Anti-Cry-it-out method. Its one of the most cruel and unusual methods we use on out babies. We are still parents after the sun sets. 

All of these practices work wonderfully in our home but this may not be the case for anyone else. Now if you'll please excuse me I have to go crunch on more of my granola ways!

Dan