Birth Story: Theo/Scoop

When I had Theo I feel like I was a completely different person from when I had Max. Not only
was I just beginning my journey as a mother I also was beginning my journey into a passion I would hold for the rest of my life.

30 weeks

38 weeks 

I spent my whole pregnancy educating myself about natrual labor, pregnancy, and immediate postpartum. After that I was pretty clueless. But here is the funny part I didn't know how clueless I was. I was the typical first time parent that knew what was coming and had done some serious time researching but still had no idea. Now understand that I knew we were delivering a baby boy and that we were no way in hell circumcising him. I also knew that we would be breastfeeding, that I probably wasn't going to be getting much sleep, or really doing anything that wasn't baby related. But after that really it was all just experience and learning on the fly.

The last prenatal appointment I had with my midwife was a week before my due date and the last day I was pregnant. My midwife had asked, "How are you feeling"? I remember smiling and speaking words I wasn't aware I was going to say. "Ready, I want to meet him and see his little face."

When she left the house David asked if I wanted to go off roading with him. At the time we were living with my mom and the house was out in the middle of the desert. The perfect place to put his new off road vehicle to good use. (In hindsight, off roading isn't something that I would recommend for anyone pregnant).We spent the better part of 4 hours climbing impossibly steep mesas and winding our way through sugar sand the wind had blown in. We blasted Incubus with the windows rolled down. We were the vision of carefree. I remember watching the sun set fire to the sky and thinking how happy I was in the moment.

The rest of the evening was spent hanging a sheet for taking pictures and watching a theater movie with ice cream bowl balanced on my belly. David and I crawled into bed exhausted, and as he wrapped his arms arounds me he asked, "What do you think is tonight the night?" Theo stretched inside me and we both watched as he pulled my skin tightly waving his arms and legs getting confortable. "Maybe. He does seem tight in there."

Later, somewhere between sleep and awake I found myself praying. In that moment I saw how blessed I was. With a boyfriend that cared about me and our son, a family that supported us, and a healthy baby with a stellar pregnancy; what more could I ask for. Peace was what I found in those moments of foggy minded clarity.

I was woken early morning by the start of early labor. Laying in bed I let the reality of what was happening wash over me. I was having a baby very soon. Deep breath, I was having a baby very soon. KEEP BREATHING. Oh my goodness I was in labor to deliver my baby boy. KEEP BREATHING! After about an hour of coming to terms with what was happening, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to wake up David. I needed to share this with someone.

I consider that the comic relief of my early labor. It took me going from gentle shaking to yelling and throwing a pillow at David's face to wake him up. And once he finally was conscious he sleepily asked if I was sure. Bless his heart, I know it was just his version of coming to terms with reality like I just had but I still almost ripped his face off. Instead I walked away to get my phone and called my midwife letting him know what I was doing.

I walked back to find that he had grabbed our birth manual from under the bed and was furiously flipping through the pages and spouting off the procedural questions.
"How far apart are your contraction?"
"Have you lost your mucous plug?'
"Is the pain in your back and abdomen?"
And from that moment he was my rock, not leaving my side or letting go of my hand. Poor man I don't think ate for twelve hours straight.

By the time the midwife had arrived I was having difficulty speaking through contractions and had woken up the whole house at the early hour of 4 a.m. Which seemed appropriate because I had quickly dilated to 4 centimeters. And as soon as I heard that I immediately asked if I could get in the tub. I was ready for a little comfort and a warm bath was just the ticket. But while trying to get the tub ready and locate all of our birth supplies my contractions had picked up and were coming so quickly I couldn't speak at all. After another check to see how quickly thing were going I had progressed to 6 centimeters in thirty minutes.

So while mayhem broke loose around me I sank into my tub of peace and worked my way through contractions. When we had everything set up and ready for delivery including my inflatable birth tub filled with warm water I switched tubs and David got in with me.

But after many hours of no change in contractions I realized maybe I was doing something wrong. After another cervical check I hadn't moved one tiny centimeter. Too much tub. It was like hitting a brick wall, I was faced with the fact that I would have to do this for longer than I had originally thought. I had to reorganize my thoughts to accept that baby boy was still a while away. Until then I sat down in the shower (I was scared to leave any form of water for long) and cried. The kind of crying where you can't breathe anymore and there is more snot than tears.

My support team still pulled through. David held my hand in the shower with me reminding me that it was all worth it. Alex sat out side the shower door telling me I was strong and so was this baby. My mother sat quietly waiting until I called for her to remind me that she did this too. Twice. Eventually, I worked my brain around the idea of no water and began to walk around to help labor progress further.

This is where my memory of things shifts from what everyone else knows and what I know. I'm pretty sure I was close to being fully dilated and sitting on the bed but other than that I don't remember anything about the physical world. I had slipped into a different realm, one completely in my head. I swirled around in a world where time didn't exist, reliving memories, peeping into the future, and searching for the peace I had just a few hours ago in bed.

Soon, or not so soon, I felt the grasp of my womb working to get a baby out. I let my midwife know, and she gave me the all clear to push. "But wait, the tub, I want to have a water birth." I managed to say. So I wobbled my way to the birth tub, David slid in behind me and I spent almost and hour pushing in several different positions. Until I found that David supporting me was best. "Dani! Can you feel your baby? Reach down, feel his head. He is still in the caul!" The amniotic sack never broke. Until my midwife was trying to show my fingers where to find my baby and it finally ruptured. Oh yes, finally he was close to being here.

Push. Push. Push. Baby boy born. We all just took a few seconds to admire his beautiful face through the water. And I'm pretty sure under the surface there was the surreal feeling of, oh man, there really was a baby in there Going through all of our minds. So we all just stared and let him look peaceful in the water. Until someone said, "Papa, grab your baby. Bring him to Mama's chest."

I felt this heavy wet baby on me and was brought to reality. My baby, blood of my blood, finally in my arms. It all fell into place. Not crying but cooing, he was already talking, and hasn't stopped since.

I looked into his face and whispered, "I am a Mama. I am your Mama."